Math jokes
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
What's a smart person's favorite candy? Nerds! :D
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.