Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

What do you call an asian kid who’s bad at math?

An orphan

One time this kid came back from school and said “Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?” And his mom said "Good news please.’’ and the boy said “I got 100% on my math test today” and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said “Now to the bad news, I LIED”

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.

What did the math book say to the other math book?

Wanna hear my problems?

What does one math book say to the other? – “Don’t bother me. I’ve got my own problems!”

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have.

Girls are like math if there under ten then you use your fingers

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

What did the fish 🐟 get on his math test?

A sea plus.

If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm.

Dear math,

please grow up and solve your own problems I’m tired of solving them for you.


8008135 is my favorite number. The worst ratio is 6:9. And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?’ Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.

i wanna tell you a scary math joke but i’m 2 squared to tell you

Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?


I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 7 percent?

What’s the difference between cake and pie

πr2, cake are round

Why don’t Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.