Math

Math Jokes

Sex

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

Lie

One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"

Dead Body

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

  • 3
  • Memes

    Cake

    It was my math teachers birthday a few days ago and i sent him this meme

    A cake in the shape of a calculator with the text "Perfect cake for" above it. The cake also has several math equations that equal 43, along with the text "Congratulations on 43 years of service". At the bottom, it says "Your maths teacher's Birthday" with a winking face and laughing emojis.

    Major

    What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

    The thot that counts.

    Mathematician

    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

  • 0
  • Band

    If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.

    Pedophile

    Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

  • 2
  • Room

    Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.

    Shame

    Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

    Question

    Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.