Math jokes

Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

What did the fish get on his math test?

A sea plus.

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

What do you get when you add one whole and one whole?

Two holes, dummy!

One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

Hiiiiiiiihihihi.

Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.

What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

The thot that counts.

If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?

Because there are too many Cheetahs!

What is 1+2? 0-23 CKerk.

How many times does 43 go into 8?

Get in the van and find out.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he had great FLOW-CULUS skills!