Aed jokes
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
Figures
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.