Crush

Crush jokes

Sex

    • My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.

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    • Toon

    • bro needs to chill out, like it's not that deep, like every toon knows you like dandy just admit astro you like dandy fr, like it's not that deep

    A digital illustration and edit of Astro from the Roblox game Dandy's World. Astro is a blue character wearing a star-covered nightcap and purple robe, looking flustered with a star covering his left eye. The background is a cosmic scene filled with spinning galaxies, nebulas, shooting stars, and glittering blue and purple stars.
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    • Crush memes

    Prank

    • Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!

    Teacher

    • I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

    Lesbian

    • I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

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    • Trash

    • My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

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    • Girlfriend

    • If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

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    • Dick

    • Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?

    Crush: Candice.

    Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?

    Crush: *slaps me, walks away*

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    • Family Secret

    • Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

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    • Love

    • Crush: "How much do you love me?"

    Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

    Crush: "But it's morning."

    Me: "Exactly."

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    • Girl

    • I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.

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