Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Guys, help! I need advice to confess to my crush. I'm being for real right now, guys, help!
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: βAre you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?β
βWhat do you call my friend group?β βSuicide Squad.β
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!
Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!
Me:whatβs that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.
I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said "dont worry babe, ill callculater."
I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
How did Donald Trump win Alabama twice?
By declaring that he has a crush on his daughter!
