Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked in to the classroom. The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating "Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn"
Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were "You're standing on my oxygen tube"
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the fucking autopsy!”
make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE- and that's the TRUTH.
what am I? answer: a Riddle.
One time this kid came back from school and said "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said "Good news please.'' and the boy said "I got 100% on my math test today" and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said "Now to the bad news, I LIED"
why did cinderella get kicked out of disney land because she sat on Pinocchios face and said lie bastatd lie
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
Who need April 1st if your whole life is already a lie ༼⍨༽
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
Why did Pinnochio cross the road?
To get to the other lied
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels
Me: Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!
Depression: Lie in bed
why would a dead guy lie?
because he can't stand up
Dr. Seuss Died September 24 but that was a lie Dr. Seuss when he was 97 he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes Dr. Seuss allahuakbar”
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone. Son: Okay, I'll do it! 5 hours later... Son: I'm done! Dad: I lied. Son: So did I!
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them, I can also tell if they are standing.
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me...it turns out that she was lying.
