An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps" etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted "they're schools, not shooting ranges".
So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it "I'll get you some food once we get off"
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down
Call me an elevator, because I let people down..
A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family
my worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
Think about you are so fucking high that you walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs 🤣🤣🤣🤣
when is rape wrong on so many levels?
inside a lift
I hope there is a lift to heaven ❤️ I shouldn’t be making jokes tho ❤️😩
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
Never eat more than you can lift.
they struggled to lift the whaghts but i got watermelon to keep me in shape
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said you know you wanna. Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up - when they hang themselves.
I asked my midget neighbour if he wanted a lift. He told m to "Fuck of!!!"! I thought what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
