Farmer

Farmer Jokes

Hoe

Why did the farmer go to the strip club?

Because he was looking for his hoe.

Milk

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?

Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.

Child: *realizes*

Cow

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."

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  • Difference

    What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

    One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

    Cow

    Why did the cow jump over the moon?

    Because the farmer had cold hands!

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  • Cow

    Why don’t cows have any money?

    Because farmers milk them dry.

    Bull

    Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

    The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

    Whey

    Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅

    Hoe

    What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?

    They both need a hoe to stay in business.

    Cow

    What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?

    "Deja moo!"

    Cock

    Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

    Song

    Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

    He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

    Harvest

    After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

    Because he had a ton of sick beets.

    Cow

    A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

    But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

    Ranch

    What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.

    Penaldo

    As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

    I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

    Penalty

    MISSING MISSING!!! 😢😢

    NAME: PRUNO PENANDES 👍🤝

    MISSING: 27/6/21 VS BELGIUM 🤔🤔

    LAST SEEN: DIVING AT OLD TRAFFORD, CRYING TO REFEREES🤬😿

    POSSIBLE LOCATIONS: PENALTY SPOT🥅

    "GIVE ME PENALTY”🤬🤬

    "I ONLY STATPAD AGAINST FARMERS MY FRIEND"😁😁