Aed jokes

Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?

A: Gonorrhea.

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"

What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?

They can't find the home button.

Once at school, a teacher thought I was Russian. Why do you think that? I said. The teacher replied, because you're reading from Right to Left.

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.

If 9/11 happened again, I want to share a selfie of me flying that plane.

Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.

My guy: I have a Q-Tip.

Me: You can Q my tip.

My guy: Ayo!

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team:

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

One time I broke a leg and I was using a wheelchair.

My parents thought I was a disappointment and put me up on eBay, the Ohioan Black Market, and the nearest adoption center.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

Some guy: making a sandwich.

Me: *rages* to put the ham in!