What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
I believe "Self-Babtism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt"
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019,2020 and 2021!
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? ----- Then there is me: My life.
Thankfully I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
It’s all fun and games until someone fails at becoming superman.
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common? They both died with red rings
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream, the man asks do you want sauce on it? The downs kid says It doesn’t matter I’m going to drop it anyway 😂😂😂
I'm such a perfectionist that I can't even fail an autism test
if at first you don't succeed Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you
In life it’s either Yeet or get beat and I clearly failed yeeting as a child as my dad beat me
Im not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
I had to write an essay about africa and I failed cause I plagiarized the hunger games script
Joke:Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
