Failure jokes
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
What do feminists do when they fail at something?
Blame men for sexism and misogyny.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"
In life you either yeet or get yeeted, or you beat or get beaten.
I guess I failed.
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.
And that's what made him go down in history.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.
Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
TAOST, you didn't submit it, you fuck!
Why did the gym close down?
Because it just didn't work out.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.