Failure

Failure Jokes

Suicide

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

Rubber

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

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  • Suicide

    Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."

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  • Depression

    What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

    Memes

    Suicide

    I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

    Attempt

    Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

    My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!

    Life

    What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?

    They're both pointless.

    Suicide

    What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

    I always fail on committing.

    Race

    Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

    Because he successfully finished a race!

    Life

    Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

    Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

    Then there is me: My life.

    Gym

    Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.

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  • Cancer

    Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?

    A: My dad didn't beat cancer...

    Suicide

    Me and a person downtown.

    Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

    Me: I guess so.

    Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

    Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.

    Person: Why'd you stop?

    Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

    Fight

    Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

    Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

    Luck

    Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."