What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
-"I want my quarterback."
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
