Lifetime jokes
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
The reason why God and Jesus have eternal life and the power, aka (holy spirit) is to control us, take our free will, and our eternal life, which is our heaven. Our time!
Just to show up, in the nick of time for the second coming in full costume ready to judge us. Them spending a lifetime preparing their big speech, their excuse of them hiding this whole time.
Lol, Surprise!
Joke being on them.
As we all stand there and are there to judge them, doing what they said they were made for.
Taking our eternal life back from Satan and the Devil and sending them to their home they created themselves!
HELL!
P.S. With a little extra punishments!
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.