Steering Wheel jokes

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick.

The bartender asks him why.

And the pirate says:

"Argh, It's driving me nuts."

What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?

The steering wheel.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she is a girl.

When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."

Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?

A: Because she's a woman.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.