Suck

Suck jokes

Teacher

    • A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."

    Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

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    • Game

    • Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

    Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

    Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

    Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

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    • Suck memes

    Blonde

    • What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?

    One stops sucking when you smack it.

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    • Bathroom scale

    • A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

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    • Hot Dog

    • Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."

    His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"

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    • Thumb

    • My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.

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    • Feminist

    • If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

    "Not now, I have a headache."

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    • Circumcision

    • Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

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