You're jokes
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Memes
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."
Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.