Flat

Flat Jokes

I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

She said "but the world is round"

I said, babe you are my world.

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

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What does a perverted frog say? Rub it

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that's why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." . Says that little boy: "But mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!"

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.