Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said "but the world is round"
I said, babe you are my world.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about
What does a rock and a girl have in common? The flat ones get skipped
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that's why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." . Says that little boy: "But mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!"
you so flat you make pancakes look thiccc
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
Don't pick flat chest because they will turn their backs on you twice
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped
Flat Earthers
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!
My bitch as flat as her grannies heartbeat
your mom is like a penny, two faced, flat, and always in someones pants.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.