Flat jokes

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.

She said, "but the world is round."

I said, babe, you are my world.

How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.

What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?

A cutting board.

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.

Flat Earthers

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.

What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"