Rabbit jokes
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
What does Justin Bieber and a rabbit have in common?
They're both adorably cute and everyone loves them except for Justin Bieber.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What's a rabbit's favorite song?
Hip hop.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?
A horse can't hoop.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."