Statement jokes
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
My favorite joke: My life.
My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
These aren't funny.
Delyla is a bitch.
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
F*ck you.
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
What is the worst joke ever? It's you.