Woman jokes
If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.
What's the difference between a woman with a penis and a terrorist? You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
I like my coffee like I like my women.
History is mostly just a list of things men did while women were busy making sure they didn't die of scurvy.
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
One woman said to the other, "This child is truly cruel!"
The second woman replied, "Did I say 'child'?"
The first woman said, "I beg your pardon; I didn't know you were my father!"
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Woman do have rights!
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.