Woman jokes
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
An old woman walks into an outdoor supplies store.
"I'd like an infrared gorilla," she says.
The clerk proceeds to give her an infrared gorilla from the back room.
"We've had hundreds of these things in the back for ages," exclaims the clerk. "You're the first person who's actually wanted one."
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
Woman do have rights!
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
Why do lesbians have the highest rate of domestic violence?
Because women are emotional and full of drama.
Why do women have periods? Because they deserve them!
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
Gwen pegs Xavier.
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!