Wear jokes

What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

What does a house wear? Address.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

What did the mermaid wear for math class?

Algaebra.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn't want to be spotted.

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.

Did you get seafood without me?

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!