Wear jokes

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

What does a house wear? Address.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

What did the mermaid wear for math class?

Algaebra.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn't want to be spotted.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.

Did you get seafood without me?

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”

Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.