Wear

Wear jokes

Taco

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

Road

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Bed

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

Wish

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

Press

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

Kilt

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Funeral

Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, โ€œWhose funeral is it?โ€

Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, โ€œI havenโ€™t decided yet.โ€

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.

Fat

You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"

Fight

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.

Chair

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

Penandes

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

Flag

Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.

*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...

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  • Forehead

    Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

    Rape

    Why did the blind woman get raped?

    Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.