Wear jokes
What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
What does a house wear? Address.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.