Wear jokes
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
What animal should wear a wig? A bald eagle!
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS!
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
What do sped gymnasts wear?
A Reotard.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.