There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They wear their ice chains.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS!
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the interview?
Because his FUTURE was too BRIGHT!
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
