Wear

Wear Jokes

Road

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

Lead

There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.

Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.

After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.

Nudist

What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?

Memorial Day.

Why?

Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.

Panty

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Survey

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

Because it was all about the TIMING.

Forehead

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

Scar

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

Arrest

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

Kilt

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

Rapper

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

They wear their ice chains.

Rapper

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the interview?

Because his FUTURE was too BRIGHT!

Witch

Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.

Sex

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.

Property

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

Sister

What’s worse than banging your sister?

Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.