Wear jokes
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
You're so ugly the whole world faked a virus just so you could wear a mask.
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.
Double!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Triple!
Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.