Fight jokes

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

They don't have the guts.

When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.

What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?

Liam Malone.

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!

What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on Juan.

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"

So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.

19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.