Fight jokes
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
What do you call two Mexicans fighting? Juan on Juan.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.
I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.