Wear jokes
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Memes
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies?
They hang easier.