Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
You're so bald, that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?: She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff; they found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
