Wear jokes
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.