Why do cows wear bells
Because their horns don’t work
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita" , and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit and the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP"
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?: She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff; they found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
POV: You are a passanger on September 11th, 2001 and you see the pilots wearing a muslim turban.
I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)
What do penguins 🐧 wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
What does a cloud wear in a storm? Thunderwear
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.