Press Jokes

in Michael Jackson

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while we was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

in Orphan

I got a orphan a Iphone 6 I told him to press the home button he has been doing it all day

in Puns

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

in Orphan

I was on an orphans website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page


What songs do people with no arms listen to?? None cause they can’t press play

in Orphan

I got my orphan kid a phone she was pressing the home button but it didn't work

in Dog

Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.


Stephen Hawkins death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

nota guy

How do you blow up an Indian person?

You press the red button.


Mr.Smith lived in an apartment. in the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. why did he do that?

because he was too short!! so he pressed the highest button he could and went to his apartment


Why did Stephan hawkings die ... because he pressed shut down instead of sleep

Steven Theodore rosabel delarosa Libby
in Orphan

Why do orphans play gta ?

To be wanted.

Why do orphanages give out free phones?

So you can press the home button

in Baby

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

Allan C.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say 'press', but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.

in Orphan

So there is this button there's a 50% chance you get a million dollars there's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle make them press the button and if they give the money you just push the orphan over take their money and run away because who they going to tell their parents.

in Boring

if your wife dies of child birth can you press charges on the baby

in Puns

Did you hear about the man that got fired from is can job? It was soda-pressing


Stephen hawkings death was completely accidental..

He pressed shut down instead of sleep


im doing something Stephen hawkings cant do.......pressing 'im not a robot'