To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket, You can hide but you cant run.

Helen Keller walked into a bar. And a table. And chairs.

If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can´t Run

Who’s the best at musical chairs?

Stephen Hawking

A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a “no”. His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, “Why do you keep asking me to croak?” The granddaughter replies, “Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland.”

When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

What do chairs spend on the most?


A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Any last requests?” “Yes,” replied the murderer, “Will you please hold my hand?”

What do you call a chair that smokes weed?

A high chair

Three d....... guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three d....... guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair’s getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

A blind man walk into a bar…and a table…and a chair…and the counter

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

What is a cow’s favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs!

How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he’s standing on, and one to sing “Allouette, gentille allouette!”

Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table. Then a chair.

How do you know when I cabbage is boiled?

The wheel chair floats to the top

a conductor was conducting a song, at the end he through his conductor’s stick and killed someone, he was put to the electric chair but nothing happened, they asked why he didn’t die and he replied, “I’m a bad conductor”

one time i ate a chair.

Whats black and sitting in a chair. Steven hawking after a house fire