Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
