Water jokes

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.

The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.

The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"

The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"

What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.

A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"

The optimist thinks the glass is half full. The pessimist thinks the glass is half empty. The feminist thinks the glass is raping them.

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

How does Jesus make tea? Hebrews it.