Duck jokes
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
Alec is bad at League?
Jokes, Jarid is, haha!
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
I am so disappointed in this race.
Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.