Water jokes
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
Your mum sunk in the pool because she had a big butt.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
Americans:
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
How did the hipster drown? He ice-skated before it was cool.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."