Vs jokes
Heaven is like university: no one gets in.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
Rapboat steals more rhymes than black people steal cars.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.