Vs jokes
Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.
What's the difference between Christianity and Scientology?
One is accepted as a cult by most people and the other has most people brainwashed.
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?
A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.
What was the difference between the Federal Republic of Germany and the German Democratic Republic?
Federal Republic: The harder you work, the more you get.
Democratic Republic: The harder you work, the firmer the handshake and nothing else.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What’s the difference between an Indian and an Arab?
One's responsible for 7/11, the other's responsible for 9/11.
What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.
What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?
I can’t marmalade my cock into your mum’s arse.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
What is the difference between gross and kinky according to a Canadian?
Using a toothpick to remove human feces between your teeth after licking another person's ass is gross, but performing a blowjob on a man who is well-endowed while he is eating a tuna fish sandwich, with maple syrup instead of mayonnaise, is kinky.
What's the difference between ICE and ISIS?
One of them says their prayers five times a day.
What's the difference between an office worker and a vegetable?
They both sit in "wheelchairs," but only one can get out of it.
What is the difference between a man peering through the keyhole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is nude and Rosy.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What is the difference between Benjah and Jesus?
Jesus walks on the water; Benjah wades through the water.
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.