*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
Battle Jokes
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
What war did Africa not win? The water fight.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
Fortnite Battle Pass.
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
