How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
on september 11th 2001 the new york giants lost against the jets.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis? Cause that's the only way they get love.
I was playing football with my friends and i got tackled and got a penalty suddenly the ground started shaking and penaldo emerged from the mud and he till the penalty but since it wasn’t andorra he missed. Shame on you penaldo!
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league"
Can a match box? No but a tin can.
Give a man a match he'll be warm for a while but set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why are Indians so good at football? Each time they get a corner they open a shop.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face off in the corner.
Did you hear the score in the Eqypt vs Ethiopia football game? Eqypt 8, Ethiopia didn't
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt........ Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't
The match: Ur my match The thighs: you light me up
How are tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
LEWENGOALSKI
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. 12.99 from Ikea.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until its too light to light.
