Broccoli jokes

Broccoli is like anal sex.

If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?

I don’t like the taste of broccoli.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?

Brockoli.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?

The wheel.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Kids won't eat broccoli.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Broccoli.

Broccoli who?

Broccoli hasn’t got a surname!

What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?

Cauliflower!

What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?

People don't eat their broccoli.

If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?

"I look like an umbrella."

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

Trees are so social. They're always branching out.

I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"