Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
Fat Bi$cut
@fatbicut
Roses are red, violets are blue, poetry is gay, and so are you.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."
Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.