Vision jokes

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?

Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

Why couldn’t the house see?

The blinds were down.

Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.

Why did the old man fall down a well?

He couldn't see that well.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

What problems might a blind child run into?

A wall.

Make him read a book.

Why doesn't Batman have super vision?

His parents died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.

Why did the blind man fall into the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

If you need to squint to read this...

You probably need glasses.

Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!

Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.