Vision jokes
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
You dream in 4K.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
I C U P works on 88% of people.
I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.