Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
Vision Jokes
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Who is the blindest person in the world?
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.