Vision jokes
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.