Batman jokes
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
Why does Batman cover half of his face? To let the police know that he's white.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Why do orphans like Batman? They are 50% like him.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.