Batman Jokes

Anonymous
in Orphan

Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”

Genie: “Wish granted!”

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

The new Batman
in Orphan

Why do orphans like Batman?

They are 50% like him.

Hes Here

So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready to go I’m ready to go!” then he walks over to his brother who’s watching batman and asks “Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC’s” and his brother responds with “nu nu nu nu batman” then he proceeds to walk to his dad who’s watching football and ask “Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC’s?” and he responds with “95 HIT EM HARD!” then he walks to his grandma who’s cooking buns and ask her “Whats the 5th letter of the ABC’s?” and she responds with “MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!” then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class “Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC’s” Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says “SHUT UP I’M COOKING!” then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says “Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?” then he proceeds to say “I’m ready to go I’m ready to go!” and he walks to the principals office then she says “What’s you’re name son?” he responds with “Nu nu nu nu batman!” then the principal ask “How many spanken’s boy?!” he responds with “95 HIT EM HARD” and after that he runs out of the principal’s office well yelling “MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!”

Anonymous

What’s the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman?

Batman returns

AJ
in Orphan

What is an orphan’s favorite show? Batman.

Anonymous
in Alphabet

So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.

5
Anonymous
in Yo mama

Yo mama, so ugly she’s the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

Anonymous

What would Batman do if he wasn’t rich?

He would be robin.

Joker

Joker gives batman a phone thomas:uhh son we need to talk… about the uhh dressing up. martha:hello dearie brucie is it ok if you visit me when you go to jokers house

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon

Gabriel

I was reading the new and read that a kid killed his family and when they interviewed him he said he wanted to become Batman

That random dude

That one awkward moment you try to relate to batman by killing your parents.

Messed up
in Orphan

Orphan: I want to be a super Hero Me: you should be batman. Also me: starts laughing because batman doesn’t have parents…

The pun master
in Puns

Robin: The cars not working Batman: Did you check the battery Robin: Whats a tery

Daniel King
in Bat

What did Batman do when he went shopping?

Got ham!

I was making fun of an orphan ,then i realized he tracked me down . I made a bad decision he was batman!

Flying Spaghetti Monster
in Atom

Sixteen molecules of sodium walk into a bar. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!!

Anonymous

What’s the differencebetween Madeline McCann and Batman?

Batman returns

jhih
in Orphan

Orphan:I wish to be like batman

Genie:Your wish is granted Orphan goes home his parents are dead

bob

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.