Perception jokes

A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"

The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.

Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

The more they smile, the less they see.

"Come on, take the camera!"

"Isn't it clear?"

"Well, look!"

Wanna me to show you a joke?

*Points at face* Funny, right?

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

You're so ugly the densest told you to lay face down.

Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"

His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."

So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"

She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"

The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"

"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.

The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.

"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Roses are red, I'm off the grid,

John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.

Want to hear a joke? Just look in the mirror!

Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?