Perception

Perception Jokes

Orphan

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

Compliment

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

Money

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Memes

Bomb

"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

Dollar

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

Irony

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

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  • Light

    Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    Cheese grater

    I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

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  • Man

    A fat man meets a skinny man.

    The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

    And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

    Suicide

    Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

    Woman

    I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."

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  • Dark Humor

    Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

    Man

    If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.

    If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.

    If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.