A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

I donated 100dollars to a blind children’s charity, to bad they won’t ever see a dime of it

What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?

Neither has he.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I’m color blind

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

A blind man walk into a bar…and a table…and a chair…and the counter

Why don’t blind people skydive? – Because it scares their dogs too much!

This is really mean… A man put a blind man in a circular room and said ur dinners in the corner

In my spare time I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective.

What do you call a blind German A not see

I was with my blind friend, and he’s telling me “Yeah I can read braille”. So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read “Screw you, asshole”

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn’t see that well.

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