By using this site, you agree to its use of cookies. Read more

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?


A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

I donated 100dollars to a blind children’s charity, to bad they won’t ever see a dime of it

What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I’m color blind

I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?

Neither has he.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

Why don’t blind people skydive? – Because it scares their dogs too much!

In my spare time I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective.

Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick

A blind man walk into a bar…and a table…and a chair…and the counter

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn’t see that well.

I was with my blind friend, and he’s telling me “Yeah I can read braille”. So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read “Screw you, asshole”