Blind Jokes

What do u call a blind dinosaur? *do-u-think-he-saur-us*

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common

Neither of them can see their parents.

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. -- Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

I donated 100dollars to a blind children’s charity, to bad they won’t ever see a dime of it

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

Neither has he.

how do you suprise a blind guy. leave the plunger in the toilet

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He just couldn't see that well.

An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.

The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies,”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says,”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says,”alright last chance. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “haha! I got you now!” But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,”He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”

Why can't blind people eat fish?

Because it's sea food.

kid asks "what is dark humor?" me *points*"see at that guy across the street..." kid:"i can't... I'm blind" me:"exactly "

what do you call a blind german?

a notsee

In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.

How do you know your acne is getting out of hand?

The blind start reading your face

A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him "Hey man What the hell you doing?". Blind guy says "Just looking around"

stop with the blind jokes...I don't see the point.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.