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A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair’s getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

I donated 100dollars to a blind children’s charity, to bad they won’t ever see a dime of it

What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinyata.

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing i ever had in my hand i said no love your just pulling my leg

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I’m color blind

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it’s sea food.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?

Neither has he.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn’t see that well.

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

“I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.”

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

In my spare time I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective.

Why are blind people so good ad being a jedi? They are always swinging a stick

Why don’t blind people skydive? – Because it scares their dogs too much!

I was with my blind friend, and he’s telling me “Yeah I can read braille”. So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read “Screw you, asshole”