Vision jokes
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
Why can’t Asians play baseball?
Because they can’t see the ball.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well?
A: Because he couldn't see that well.
You dream in 4K.
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
What does a baby in a blender look like? I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.