Deer jokes
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls. They're under a buck.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What type of deer can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.