Deer jokes
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls. They're under a buck.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.
One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."
The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"
The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."
Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"
The not so smart Indian replies,
"Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.