Vision jokes
"Come on, take the camera!"
"Isn't it clear?"
"Well, look!"
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.
We can only see 90 degrees.
In the realm of Danny, Ben, and Paxton, A trio of souls intertwined, Their stories woven with grace and might, A tale of friendship, ethereal and fine.
Danny, the dreamer with stars in his eyes, Chasing visions that danced in his mind, With every thought, a world he'd create, A poet, an artist, one of a kind.
Ben Power, the steadfast, a force to behold, With strength that could move mountains high, His heart, a fortress, unyielding and bold, A protector, a guardian, forever nigh.
Paxton, the wanderer, a spirit untamed, Roaming free wherever the wind blew, In every step, a new adventure claimed, A seeker, a nomad, forever anew.
Together they stood, a harmonic blend, Different paths converging as one, In the depths of their bond, a love unfurled, A symphony played, forever sung.
Through trials and triumphs, they faced the storm, Hand in hand, against the tempest's might, With laughter, tears, and hearts so warm, They shared the darkness, embracing the light.
Oh, Danny, Ben, and Paxton, forever bound, Through the pages of life, your stories unfold, In the tapestry of friendships profound, Your spirits, like poetry, forever bold.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.