
Vision jokes
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors. It’s a job I can see myself doing.
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
We can only see 90 degrees.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
How do mountains see? They peek.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
"Come on, take the camera!"
"Isn't it clear?"
"Well, look!"
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
