Camera

Camera jokes

Phone

Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

Mom

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

Single

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

Memes

Guy

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

Friend

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

Emo

Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.

Role

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

Photo

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

Hair

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Floor

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

Picture

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

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  • Mama

    Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.