Nazi jokes
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
What had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!