Violence jokes
If you're mad, go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their mom?
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
A: Special forces.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.