Violence jokes
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
Memes
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Q: What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
A: Special forces.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.