Violence jokes

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

What is the best thing about being back?

Free bullets.

What do babies and explosives have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

A suicide bomber's biggest fear is not exploding.

What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.