Violence jokes
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.