Violence jokes
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"