Violence jokes
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
Memes
?!?? TRIGGERED MUCH
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
What's worse than ten babies stapled to a tree?
A baby stapled to ten trees.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
What is the best thing about being back?
Free bullets.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.