Violence jokes

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!

"A llahu Aks into a bar..."

And it blows up!

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.