Violence jokes
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Clap em sis!
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.
Then I waited for the results.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.