Violence jokes

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.

He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.

+1 Comet.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.

You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

Why did the school shooter earn extra points?

Because he was on a kill streak.

Clap em sis!