Violence jokes
My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
What a school shooter's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
Why did the school shooter earn extra points?
Because he was on a kill streak.
Clap em sis!
Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
"Suicide bomber kills 44 people in Pakistan mosque." Damn, that's a crazy K/D. He must be hacking.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
What do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?