Grenade jokes

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?

They'll end up only throwing the pin.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”

Vote for the better joke.

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.

When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.

"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.

What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

They both make noise when you throw them.

Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.

There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"

What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!

I will never forget my mother and father's last words.

"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"

When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.