Grenade jokes
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades? They'll end up only throwing the pin.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!