Grenade jokes
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot."
Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."
Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."
Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*
Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
US Marine: Knock knock!
Al Qaeda fighter: Who's there?
US Marine: (Kicks down door, throws grenade, opens fire) FREEDOM, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.