Violence jokes

When is a rapist safe around children?

When his plans are oven ready.

Why did Bob Ross die?

Because the paint brush stabbed him.

A child was walking through the forest when a wolf jumped in front of him. The child saw that the wolf had no leg. He then became a terrorist and caused 9/11.

When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?

I will never forget my grandpa's last words:

Alahu-Akbar.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.

Cheer on the rapist if you want.

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.

What's the best thing about beating up orphans?

They can't tell their parents.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Will Smith slapped your hairline to space.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.