There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
"Hippity hoppity, the school shooter spotted me."
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
